Following my post about the amazing Matilda Tristram’s Colonomic, I thought I would blog about picking up your pen, squegee or paintbrush and working through your ‘stuff’ via the medium of art! OK, that sounds ridiculous, but here goes….
I like to do a bit of angsting onto paper. Talking about illness is boring…contrary to appearances, I don’t really like talking about being ill all that much, unless it’s to joke about it or to discuss experiences & useful info with my ‘hospital friends’. I hate general moaning. It’s bores everyone else and it makes me feel worse.
It’s really difficult to explain many of the physical sensations and experience of being very ill. Drawing is a great way of processing the emotional baggage.
This picture is called Any Human Heart. It’s a screen print of a pencil drawing and an anatomical heart. I did this print after my first hospital admission in my 20s.
This is an Adboe Illustrator drawing of a Particle Collision. I was trying to visualise an out of body experience that I had in hospital. It couldn’t really work out what to do with the experience; I wrote some terrible poetry and did some self portraits.. it was all a bit lame. But when I saw some images of particle collisions – showing the kinetic energy of colliding particles – it resonated completely: That was what it was like! I later used it as an image for my friend’s band Stick in a Pot and their single, Synesthesia [below].
Here’s my cat walking over some straight forward ANGST from my sketch book, this ink drawing reads ‘I Want to ‘effing SCREAM but you’ve taken my voice’! After surgery I wanted to properly scream my head off – but A) didn’t have the energy and B) I lived in a small flat in London so found that if I screamed too much, my neighbours would start popping round to see if I was being murdered.
I know, this one is pretty indulgent and teenage (no offence to teenagers) – but usually it stays inside my sketchbook and doesnt bother anyone and it’s really cathartic. ‘Better out than in’ as they say! Try it. Even if you think you’re crap at drawing, you might get something out of it and no one has to see it – unless you decide to post it on the web! You can see more of my art work at www.lucychapman.me